Friday, February 22, 2008
Pepper is home from the "hospital". He was there for two days. He is better but because of his age we aren't sure just how long we will have him with us. He is moving a little slower but when he wanted to eat one of my oreo's I knew he was really feeling better!
We will just live each day at a time enjoying our time together.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
I was reminded over the past few days of just how much I take everyday things for granted. I think that in the past I have thought about maybe not seeing my loved ones or friends again but I never gave much thought that one day I might lose something that is very dear to me and that is Pepper, the Shaw family dog. He and I have been through many adventures through the years and the thought of him leaving me breaks my heart.
Pepper is the family pet. He hold special memories for each one of us. He is a lasa apsa with black and white fur although the years have added a tinge of gray to his coat. He is usually all over anyone who comes in our home. In fact when we have people over, Pepper thinks they are there to see him and he makes himself known to all by jumping, barking, running in circles and, as he has aged, many wags of his tail and the contentment he shows just being next to the one most likely to drop him a bite of food. Pepper has been a mainstay in the Shaw family for over 13 years. He has never been sick. Last year we found that he had a heart condition but with medication he has been fine. He has slowed down over the years but don’t we all as we age? It has been hard to see him not jump up to sleep with us on the bed but he has compensated by sleeping on the floor at the foot of the bed. I think that is one of the things that I love about Pepper; he makes the best of the situation. He loves freely and is loved in return. He doesn’t speak in human words but he communicates his thoughts to us in other ways. Barking when he needs out or back in, wagging his tail when he is happy, which is most of the time; he even sings Jingle Bells and joins in on Happy Birthday. I think about the joy he brings to our family and my eyes well with tears that come from the sorrow I am feeling at this time. As I write, Pepper is in the “animal hospital”. I had been gone all day on Tuesday and got home around 8:15. Steve had gotten home before me just long enough to check the mail and let Pepper out. At first everything was normal about Pepper, Steve said, then I saw the look on Steve’s face was of concern when I walked in from the garage. He was looking down at Pepper and as I followed his gaze I understood the concern. Pepper was just lying on the floor with seemingly no life to him. He looked up at me and then dropped his head onto his paws.
As I write, Pepper is in the “animal hospital”. I had been gone all day on Tuesday and got home around 8:15. Steve had gotten home before me just long enough to check the mail and let Pepper out. At first everything was normal about Pepper, Steve said, then I saw the look on Steve’s face was of concern when I walked in from the garage. He was looking down at Pepper and as I followed his gaze I understood the concern. Pepper was just lying on the floor with seemingly no life to him. He looked up at me and then dropped his head onto his paws.
Tuesday night, Steve and I thought would be his last. He let us pick him up and lay him on his bed without making a sound. He would not eat anything, not a treat or even a cracker. I am talking about the dog that would eat paper and now he wouldn’t even eat a real people cracker. We knew he was sick. He would look at us as if to say, “I don’t understand, help me, please.” We were heartbroken and at that time we were both facing for the first time that Pepper might die. I knew he was getting older and that one day he would leave us, but I wasn’t ready for the reality of it. I was scared and deeply wounded that the friend I had had for so long might not be there tomorrow.
Reality. We will all lose someone or something that we love.
Reality. We will all lose someone or something that we love.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Today is President’s Day and a holiday from school. I am just like the children enjoying time off from school. Right now I would be down to my last two groups of the day, watching the clock and thinking about what I had to after school.
I have had a relaxing day but have gotten things accomplished as well. I have done laundry, bible study, watched a little TV and done a little writing and reading as well. I know what I am fixing for dinner and for me that is half the battle. I find that if I have something planned then it is a whole lot easier to implement.
Today has been a fun day because I have done the things I had planned to do. I had a to do list and was able to complete the things I had written down. I even added things to the list that I had done, just so I could mark a line through them too. It makes you feel good to put that line or check mark by something that you have done. You feel productive.
Try writing things down, not only will you have a sense of accomplishment, you will have fun marking through each task and have direction for the rest of the day. If by chance you get nothing on your list accomplished, don't beat yourself up about it, sometimes your day is beyond your control, just smile and try again tomorrow!
Friday, February 15, 2008
Friday, February 8, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
I was supposed to be at Wal-Mart right now buying school supplies with the generous gift the PTO at my school gave to each teacher. We were to ask for the Wal-Mart credit card if we wanted to shop there so yesterday I asked for the card for today because I knew I had to stay in town for a meeting at 6:00 but the lady who hands out the credit cards at school left early today. Not her fault I had to change my plans, not my fault either. I could have gotten mad or gotten a bad attitude but what good would that do. It did make me a little frustrated because I had my plan ready to go. I sat at my desk at school and thought about it, do I go home only to drive thirty minutes back to town for the meeting or what? I didn’t want to shop, I didn’t want to stay at work and then I had a light bulb moment. I can go to Starbucks and get a coffee (decaf of course!!) I thought “I can go write a blog and drink coffee at Starbucks, how cool will that be!” So here I am drinking coffee and writing.
I started writing and within 10 minutes Angela called, we had a nice conversation, then Ben beeped in so I let her go and talked to Ben, he was on his lunch break, then Steve beeped in and I had to laugh to myself. I guess I will change my plans again. I wouldn’t trade talking with them for anything; I just think it is funny that when I had a new plan all made, bam, change of plans, no writing for a while.
I now have a few more minutes before the meeting and I am thinking about plans. My plans are sometimes so superficial; I think to myself, what is in it for me, what do I want to do. I think that I get so into things of the world that I forget that He is the one who I should ask about plans. One of my most favorite verses ever is from Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” This is one of Angela’s favorite verses too. So it is even more special. I got to thinking about plans and how futile they sometimes can be. Planning is a good thing, it is good to be prepared and even think about if plan A doesn’t work then try plan B and so on. If all else fails then you can punt!! Just don’t stress, that will not get you anywhere but in a bad mood.
I think God wants us to plan so that we can be all that we can be for Him and the furthering of His Kingdom. When we get to the point that our joy is gone because we have become so desperate to make sure our plans go just the way we want or we feel that we have failed, then we need to stop and examine our motives for planning. Is it to be more effective or to be in control? I am learning that it is okay just to live for today and not have a specific plan. When we learn to let go and let God then we are accepting that He is in control and will guide us. We can soar in the knowledge of His protection and we are free. Free to release control to Him. I don’t want to live everyday without a plan because for me I don’t have enough discipline to do what I need to do but it is fun to have days every once in a while that you can just “BE”. We all need days like this. What fun they can be. Angela and I came up with “BE” days when she was in middle school; these are days when you do what you want, watch a movie, read a book, scrapbook, or make cookies and eat all of them while they are still warm. These days are meant to restore and refresh for the days to come. Thank you, Father that You allow us to “be”, to rest in You and receive the comfort that only comes from You.
I am learning to live in the moments with plans and the moments when my plans change. I want to have the attitude of peace and joy no matter what.
I wonder what his plans for the day are. He looks happy and content. Are you?
Friday, February 1, 2008
Steve and I are big Giants fans mainly because of Eli Manning. We have followed his football career ever since his college years at Ole Miss.
Ole Miss is a place dear to our hearts, not only did we both graduate from this school but this is where we first met, dated, fell in love and later married while attending. In fact our first date was 30 years ago tomorrow!!