Reality Check

I was reminded over the past few days of just how much I take everyday things for granted. I think that in the past I have thought about maybe not seeing my loved ones or friends again but I never gave much thought that one day I might lose something that is very dear to me and that is Pepper, the Shaw family dog. He and I have been through many adventures through the years and the thought of him leaving me breaks my heart.

Pepper is the family pet. He hold special memories for each one of us. He is a lasa apsa with black and white fur although the years have added a tinge of gray to his coat. He is usually all over anyone who comes in our home. In fact when we have people over, Pepper thinks they are there to see him and he makes himself known to all by jumping, barking, running in circles and, as he has aged, many wags of his tail and the contentment he shows just being next to the one most likely to drop him a bite of food. Pepper has been a mainstay in the Shaw family for over 13 years. He has never been sick. Last year we found that he had a heart condition but with medication he has been fine. He has slowed down over the years but don’t we all as we age? It has been hard to see him not jump up to sleep with us on the bed but he has compensated by sleeping on the floor at the foot of the bed. I think that is one of the things that I love about Pepper; he makes the best of the situation. He loves freely and is loved in return. He doesn’t speak in human words but he communicates his thoughts to us in other ways. Barking when he needs out or back in, wagging his tail when he is happy, which is most of the time; he even sings Jingle Bells and joins in on Happy Birthday. I think about the joy he brings to our family and my eyes well with tears that come from the sorrow I am feeling at this time.

As I write, Pepper is in the “animal hospital”. I had been gone all day on Tuesday and got home around 8:15. Steve had gotten home before me just long enough to check the mail and let Pepper out. At first everything was normal about Pepper, Steve said, then I saw the look on Steve’s face was of concern when I walked in from the garage. He was looking down at Pepper and as I followed his gaze I understood the concern. Pepper was just lying on the floor with seemingly no life to him. He looked up at me and then dropped his head onto his paws.

Tuesday night, Steve and I thought would be his last. He let us pick him up and lay him on his bed without making a sound. He would not eat anything, not a treat or even a cracker. I am talking about the dog that would eat paper and now he wouldn’t even eat a real people cracker. We knew he was sick. He would look at us as if to say, “I don’t understand, help me, please.” We were heartbroken and at that time we were both facing for the first time that Pepper might die. I knew he was getting older and that one day he would leave us, but I wasn’t ready for the reality of it. I was scared and deeply wounded that the friend I had had for so long might not be there tomorrow.

He made it through the night. However, Steve and I didn’t get much sleep, I would just watch him lie on his bed to make sure he was still breathing. He wasn’t any better in the morning so I took him to the vet. I explained the details to the vet as I watched the usually active Pepper lie on the exam table with no movement other than his eyes watching everything and everyone in the room. There was much concern and as the vet ran tests and examined Pepper. It was determined that he was having kidney problems. He kept Pepper there to give him fluids and medicine. I wanted the vet to tell me that he would treat Pepper and that he would be fine. What he told me was that he didn’t know for sure that treatment would help and that we would just have to wait. When I called this morning there didn’t seem to be much change and that Pepper needed to stay another night. They would repeat the tests tomorrow to see if he was responding to the treatments. They did make a comment that he was a little cranky, which to me is a good sign, a least he is responding in some way. Time will tell. What I can do now is pray and realize that my time with Pepper may be limited and to prepare for that time when I do lose him.

Reality. We will all lose someone or something that we love.

Reality. We are never ready to face this.

Reality. Make the most of the time we have.

Reality. Take time to love and be loved!!!